The Rest Of Us

On the eve of Tom Brady’s seventh appearance in the Super Bowl, the quarterback’s biggest fan (next to this guy[1]) is a wanted man. Victor Thompson, 48, is named in four separate arrest warrants, according to Florida court records. Three of the warrants are for felony narcotics possession cases, while the fourth warrant is for Thompson’s failure to appear in court on another drug case.

A substitute teacher was arrested yesterday for indecent exposure after she performed a cartwheel in a high school choir class “with no under garments on,” police allege. According to cops, Lacey Sponsler, 34, exposed herself to students last Friday at Pawhuska High School in Pawhuska, a city about 50 miles north of Tulsa.

An Arkansas man suspected of robbing an adult novelty store was arrested after a stolen sex toy fell out of his pocket as he was approached by a police officer. Andrew Bell, 30, entered the Seductions store in Fayetteville around 9 PM Wednesday and browsed for about 30 minutes before a worker spotted him walking into a back room “attempting to get out of the sight of the employee,” He was playing hide the salami... really!

Meet Kassie Raelyn Rowan. Jail personnel in Tahlequah, Oklahoma  got an eyeful earlier this month when the 19-year-old was booked following her arrest for drunk driving. Rowan was collared late on a Monday evening by a Tahlequah Police Department officer. She is scheduled for a March 13 hearing on the misdemeanor charge.

Whether lesbians are hot... or not... doesn't really matter. (We think they're hot, but nobody's asking us.) What matters is that a Canadian oil advocacy group's effort to promote Canadian oil has gotten them into hot water. And no amount of Canadian oil will soothe that burning sensation when the internet opens fire.

Curtis Ward, the would-be actor and con-director behind a critically acclaimed thug documentary, was arrested over the weekend following a standoff with police at a funeral service for his grandfather. This bad actor was acting badly, and when SWAT arrived it was the final act for him.