In February 2015 Mohammad Hossain, a student at the University of Illinois (UIC), was arrested on charges of aggravated criminal sexual assault after he allegedly "re-enacted" scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey. Or perhaps it was just rehearsal for a theater class?

Hossain is a freshmen studying liberal arts and sciences at UIC (whatever the hell that means) so we're not quite sure if theater classes are part of his schedule. Therefore, we have to assume the worst. The story goes that on one Saturday in February Hossain brought a young 19-year-old female (also a student at UIC) to his dorm room where the alleged re-enactment took place. Although the couple had apparently previously been intimate it seems Hossain wanted to take things to the next level. That would be one level down.

According to prosecutors Hossain bound the young lady's hands and legs (not sure with what but we guess it was something very "Fifty Shades of Grey"-ish.) He then covered her mouth with a necktie (doesn't he know that during dorm-room engagements the necktie is supposed to be hung on the door handle outside?) Our male lead then proceeded to beat this poor young woman with a belt! Authorities say Hossain even began punching her (because the belt wasn't enough?) All of which eventually lead to the alleged sexual assault (that must have been the cherry on top? Speaking of cherries... wait, never mind!) 

The sick son of a bitch, errr, we mean Mohammed Hossain, ignored the young lady's pleas for him to stop (was this also part of that movie?) It was Hossain's roommate who ultimately stopped the crime (maybe it's a good thing he didn't leave that necktie on the door... although he did try and block his roommate from coming in.) The victim was able to leave the room and later contacted police. Apparently when authorities finally had the opportunity to interrogate Hossain his first line of defense was that he was re-enacting scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey, which what...  makes it all okay?!?! Uhhh, NO!

Oh yeah and one hour after the attack Hossain posted on Facebook, "I'm finally satisfied". And you know what? We're finally done with this guy! Bail set at $500,000... we'll see you in court you sick bastard. Our guess is you'll be soon be wearing fifty shades of orange.