It is an age-old dilemma we have all faced: the clock has rolled over to 2:30 a.m., you and your friends are high as shit, and the hunger starts to creep in. It is the unmistakable temptation of the flower. Slow at first, it’s not long before the hunger consumes you and you realize that you would kill for a milkshake, a fist full of mozzarella sticks, like three tacos, and a slice of Hawaiian pizza. But where does one go to satisfy this appetite? How could you possibly address this range of desire?
Believe it or not, there was a brief time in Berkeley, California where a restaurant existed to serve this exact purpose. Munchy Munchy Hippos was the indisputably perfect stoner restaurant. It was a late night (open 6:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m.) restaurant that served, as the name implies, food specifically designed to feed the cannabis cravings of old hippie burnouts and red-eyed college students alike. The menu ranged from mashed potato taquitos to deep-fried strawberry cheesecake bites, to brisket-covered french fries, to assorted candy, and much more. They had a section specifically for budget dining called the “I’m Broke” menu where you could order a single Otter Pop or a scoop of buttered corn. Munchy Munchy Hippos was a stoner oasis, but it was a star that burned too bright. It has since shut down, leaving a chili-cheeseburger-sized hole in all of our hearts.
However, Munchy did not die in vain. It has provided a blueprint for what makes an excellent stoner restaurant. We created a rating system using Munchy Munchy Hippos as a guide. For each of the four categories below, an eatery will be awarded points based on how well it meets qualifications. The points are then added up, with