I love Taco Bell, mostly when I’m high which is mostly most of the time. It’s my favorite thing to eat, but even I haven’t experienced the entire menu. At least I hadn’t experienced it, until I threw down on a bunch of pre-rolls from PUFF (my favorite is Balance), dropped $50 on Taco Bell — which buys you a ton of Taco Bell! — and hired professional photographer Joel Flora to capture me at “work.” I thought I knew what Taco Bell menu item would win. I thought I knew myself. I was wrong.
Joel Flora/High Times
20. Cinnabon Delights
$1.00
Disgusting. I expected to bite into a sugary sweet Cinnabon filled with gooey frosting. Instead, I bit into a lump of dense dough that had soaked up all the icing like a sponge so when I bit into it nothing poured out except my own disappointment.
19. Spicy Tostada
$1.00
Points for being a vegetarian option, but it’s just taco condiments piled on a hard taco shell – lettuce, tomato, cheese, and some top sauce slapped on a smear of beans – that’s lame. If I have a dollar I’m spending it on a soda or a Swisher, not this.
Joel Flora/High Times
18. Chipotle Chicken Loaded Griller
$1.79
Nope. It tastes like they grilled strips of a yellow rubber chicken instead of a real bird.
17. Spicy Potato Soft Taco
$1.00
It’s fine. Get it if you want. You’ll take a bite, and go, “It’s fine.”
Joel Flora/High Times
16. Mexican Pizza
$4.19
Now we’re talking! One of the sexiest cheese pulls in the game, but a tad too expensive to crack my Top 15.
