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There is a vile plague spreading across the land—a green leech, of sorts—with the uncanny ability to go to the gutter for the eternal souls of every sex, race and religion and bury their combustible corpses in the most rotten inception of hell. It has been written that the screams from behind the nine gates of this kingdom of catastrophe can be heard damning their respective higher powers for allowing them to be shot out the fiery bowels of marijuana addiction. For it is this so-called dysfunction that lines the walls of Satan’s lonesome abode with an eternity agony and regret.
Fortunately, marijuana is not quite as biblical as some of the over-zealous would like us to believe. Anyone with experience in the drug culture fully understands that pot is in no way a gateway to the destitution and despair that was once sold under Reefer Madness. Marijuana doesn’t even come close to running amok in the veins of civil society in the same way as alcohol or hard drugs. As far as we can tell, the herb has never been a catalyst to getting a trucker blown out behind a Pilot Travel Center, nor has the plant-inspired its users to pawn everything they own just to get their hands on another buzz.
In fact, the federal government, the same guiding force that continues to lump anything derived from the cannabis plant in the same Schedule I classification as heroin, even admits that marijuana is really only about as addictive as caffeine. Although it might be true that the majority of the American population cannot properly function without their morning jolt, we have never heard any horror stories about hardcore caffeine