Lovebirds who check into the Mark hotel for Valentine’s Day will be inspired — to get good grades.

Management is providing a gag “Sexual Satisfaction Grading Card” so each guest can rank his/her partner from 1 (not passing) to 5 (excellent) in 11 categories, including creativity, stamina, generosity, use of language, problem solving, speed of recovery and overall effort.

A footnote advises: “Good sex may cause increased endorphins, younger-looking skin, improved heart health, strengthened bones, weight loss (approximately 100 calories) . . . and longer-lasting relationships.”

The hotel is also providing aphrodisiac-infused cocktails and an Agent Provocateur thong for each couple.